Friendships Between Men and Women
from InterVarsity "All in One Day" Conference

"Understanding the Trinity of God"
[we must start with understanding Who God is because we were made like Him, not Him like us]

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." -- Ephesians 5:1-2

1. They (the Trinity) are always with eachother
> John 1

2. They are for eachother
[They aren't independant, but always giving and exalting one another. This is rooted in Their distinct differences]

> Matthew 3:17-17
> John 14:30-31, 16:12-15, 17:20-26
> Philipians 2:5-11
> Genesis 1:26-27
> Genesis 2:18-25

Questions to ask yourself:

a) how have you seen God be with you and for you?
b) how does your gender difference/distinctiveness reflect something of God?
c) how do men and women need to learn to be with and for eachother in your social/church circles?

- posted by my name is heather. @ Wednesday, May 05, 2004

 
Session 2: "Be Made New"
Ephesians 4:17-24

1. A Devastating Effect
> "So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more."

> Put Off...Put On
"You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. Surely you heard of Him and were taught in Him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off you old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

>It's interesting to note that the Bible doesn't assume we will have "friendships" with the opposite sex; atleast not in the same way that we do with those of the same sex.
>It also speaks more of "fellowship" and a relationship built around "agreeing on Jesus" than common interests/hobbies.

2. Self-Centered Relationships vs. Christ-Centered Relationships
(starting with identifying SCR)

a) Fear:
>For Women, fear is manifested in some of these ways:
-fear of abandonment,
-of being trampled on,
-misused,
-unchosen
-unwanted
-fear of not being like Eve, of not being noticed

>For Men, fear is manifested differently in relationships:
-fear of failure
to conquer
to succeed
-
From Fear to ---> Trust
through repentance
"The Gospel says that our worst fears about ourselves and others are true, but are contended with on the Cross of Christ!"

"The only place where you are free from the danger of love is hell itself." -- C.S. Lewis

people = risks

>Trust: "God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgement, because in this world we are like Him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:16-18


b) Guilt
Inappropriate Levels of:
-Physical Intimacy
-Emotional Intimacy
-Spiritual Intimacy

Sometimes women form strong emotional bonds with a man she likes because she can't get him romantically. So she pursues him, trying to make him need or depend on her for emotional strength.
You need to call this what it is: manipulation, and, obviously an inappropriate level of emotional intimacy.
- posted by my name is heather. @ Friday, March 26, 2004

 
I found this article to be very encouraging!
We know the first commandment is to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength" but do we really strive to love Him with our minds on a day-to-day basis? This is a very challenging command!!

Spiritually Healthy Minds

- posted by my name is heather. @ Wednesday, February 25, 2004

 
"With

eyes wide open

to the mercies of God, I beg you, my brothers,
as an act of intelligent worship,

to give Him your bodies,
as a living sacrifice,

consecrated to Him and acceptable by Him."
[romans 12:1]

Open your eyes up -- WIDE -- to God's mercies..."They are new every morning." Did you wake up? Did your legs work when you swung them out of bed? Did your mommy make you breakfast again? ;-)
These are tiny tastes of the greatness of our Father's mercies.
In light of this...how can we not offer ourselves, wholly and completely, to Him?

"Lord, I'll give you my words today...but, well, my thoughts...they're not that great, but just let me be in control there today,"

"Don't let the world around you squeeze you into its own mold, but

let God remold your minds from within,

so that you may prove in practice that the plan of God for you is good,
meets all His demands,
and moves toward the goal of true maturity." [romans 12:2]

I cannot give God part of my body...for I am one: heart, soul, mind, and strenth. If my words are to be for Him, then so must my heart...
for, "Out of the heart flows the words of the mouth" (paraphrased).

Meditate on Phillipians 4:8 = speak words that are true, right, honorable.
- posted by my name is heather. @ Wednesday, February 18, 2004

 
But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. (1 Timothy 6:6,7)

Contentment...what a hard word. I have heard warnings about wishful thinking like, "When I graduate -- then life will be good." Or, "If I find someone to complete me then I'll be happy!" They tell me that though these things are all good and well, and often part of God's plan, they cannot bring true contentment.

WhaT? Having everything I want wouldn't satisfy??
In the end, no. In the end...when all I can take out of this life is my soul...not even my body...what will those things I wanted so badly count for?
Nothing.

How hard I must consciously work at keeping enternity in sight! It reminds me of this song:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth
Will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace

Turning my eyes...from school, from relationships, from money, from my plans for my future...and being completely satisfied in His glory and grace...this is my prayer today.
- posted by my name is heather. @ Wednesday, January 21, 2004